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It’s probably happened to you: A couple glasses of wine after work or a few beers during the game and boom—next thing you know, you’re adding items to your Amazon cart like it’s Cyber Monday all over again. Two days later, you’re confronted with a box of stuff you barely remember ordering—a fancy vacuum cleaner, a pricey pizza stone, a Snuggie, shoes for when you start jogging, and a toaster that brands the logo of your favorite NFL team right on your toast.
Just how common is the drunk Amazon shopping phenomenon? We decided to find out. We surveyed 1,000 men and women across the country and asked them to come clean about their booze-soaked Amazon purchases. How much are they spending? Do women spend more than men? And what regrettable (or awesome) items are they actually ordering? Read on to find out.
Which Drinks Prompt Expensive Shopping Sprees?
Hey, gin drinkers—hold onto your wallets. According to our respondents, guzzling gin leads to the biggest Amazon expenditures by a long shot: $82, on average. While gin has a long and storied history of being linked with extreme emotions and wild behavior, there’s no evidence that getting “gin drunk” is any different from any other type of intoxication. However, the mind is a powerful thing, and sometimes expectations guide reality—so if you think gin makes you shop ’til your laptop dies, it just might.
Rum and vodka consumption are associated with the second- and third-highest Amazon.com bills, respectively—both break the $50 mark. White wine drinkers spend an average of $4 more than red wine drinkers, perhaps supporting the notion that red wine drinkers are more practical while white wine aficionados throw caution to the wind. Beer is linked with the second-lowest expenditure, and there’s another surprise: Whiskey drinkers spend the least of all.
Women Vs. Men: How Much Does Each Gender Spend?
When it comes to drunk shopping on Amazon, women spend more than men on average. Why? For starters, it’s a pretty well-known fact that women like to shop more than men do. Even research has revealed that men get bored more easily during shopping trips. Some European malls actually offer “daycare” centers for men tired of shopping, and someone launched a hilarious Instagram account to share snapshots of men who are bored while their partners’ shop.
In many households, women are tasked with doing most of the shopping. According to experts, female consumers drive 70 to 80 percent of purchases. Just take one couple’s drunken shopping trip to Target, which recently went viral: After a few drinks, the woman drunkenly cruised through her favorite store picking out school supplies (in July!), while her husband took photos of the hilarious shopping spree to post on Twitter.
Amazon Splurges by Alcohol Type
We’ve looked at the average amount people spend on drunken Amazon shopping sprees, but what about those unforgettable times when you spend a lot? Once again, gin was the No. 1 culprit behind the most heavily loaded Amazon carts—$235, on average, among our survey participants.
Whiskey and tequila vie for second place, with those splurges averaging just over $200. Though one spirit is the same as another when it comes to attaining a certain level of inebriation, the way a drink is consumed can make people drunker (and more likely to spend). Many people drink whiskey “neat” (aka straight up, with no mixer or ice), and tequila is among the most popular liquors for doing shots. There’s no denying straight alcohol could certainly contribute to a memorable shopping trip. Interestingly, wine drinkers racked up the lowest bills—perhaps because they tend to sip.
Alcohol-Fueled Amazon Splurges by Gender
As we discovered above, women spend more than men on average during a boozy Amazon session. However, when it comes to the biggest splurge, men are the big (drunk) spenders. The top Amazon bill for men averaged nearly $200, while women’s highest totals averaged closer to $155. Why? One possibility is the difference in disposable income. In the United States, women earn an average of 21 percent less than their male counterparts—which may be enough to curb the impulse to cross a certain threshold when shopping for optional items.
Good and Bad Drunk Amazon Purchases
Buyer’s remorse is a bad feeling—especially when it’s coupled with a hangover. According to our survey respondents, cell phones and accessories were the most-regretted drunk purchases by a landslide. A whopping
67 percent of people wish they hadn’t bought phones while buzzed. Another 34 percent kick themselves for buying books (totally understandable if they purchased “Moon People”), while 30 percent wish they’d waitedon home and kitchen items.
However, some Amazon products are winners no matter how many drinks shoppers consumed. In our survey, a shocking 100 percent of participants were pleased with their drunken purchases of musical instruments. Around 93 percent were happy with the pet items they bought while buzzed (perhaps they bought Bowser Beer, the non-alcoholic beer for dogs), and 91 percent enjoyed their health/household/baby products.
Ironically, 79 percent of participants who bought an Amazon device while drunk were pleased with their purchase. Thankfully, the Amazon Chrome can help people with their future drunken shopping sprees, as Alexa has a penchant for “helping” people buy everything from dollhouses to fancy cookies.
The Weirdest Drunken Buys on Amazon
It’s late. You’re wasted. So what do you want to buy? Perhaps an enormous tent for growing your favorite plants. (According to one reviewer, it would also make an awesome “ice fishing shack.”) You could also pick up some lubricant. A tube or two—or maybe a 55-gallon drum of it. Even the product description unashamedly admits it is “a simply jaw-dropping amount of lube.”
Are you a java lover? Consider a coffee enema, which, regardless of its effectiveness as a colon cleanser, is unarguably the least enjoyable way you could ever take your coffee. The good news is that it comes with a “discreet bag” so you can “avoid any unnecessary conversations about doing an enema or douche.” (Anyone who’s ever had one of those conversations would probably buy stock in “discreet bags.”)
And if you’re longing for the body of your dreams, drop a few bucks on these “curve enhancement and enlargement pills,” specifically designed to enlarge women’s breasts and butts. In a shocking turn of events, the product description reveals that the statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. Cheers!
Drinking, Shopping, and You
For many people, having a few drinks with friends is a fun way to unwind. But it’s important to keep tabs on your drinking and ensure it doesn’t go too far. If you want to cut down on the money you spend while you’re drinking, one way is to delete the most tempting shopping apps on your phone—even just for the evening. You can also consider installing an app to keep you from drunk shopping (or drunk dialing or drunk Instagram-posting) for a set amount of time.
But if you find that alcohol is taking a toll on your relationships, work, school, or spending habits, it’s time to get help. If you have questions about how to cut down on drinking, our kind and knowledgeable experts are here to help. Call [Direct] to get the help you deserve.
We surveyed 1094 people who have bought an item off of Amazon while under the influence of alcohol. These people chose to participate in the survey openly. The only qualifier was that the people surveyed had to have bought an item off of Amazon while under the influence of alcohol.
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